I need an illness indicator button (among other things)

Now that daughter is no longer sitting on my arm, watching me profess my love for Jon Stewart, I can blog freely (more freely anyway.)

Here's what I need:

1. An illness indicator button on the forehead of each child with two settings. Green for "Send her to school; she's not that sick," and Red for "Keep her at home; she's actually sick." This is one of the worst parts of parenting - the whole questioning of whether a child is sick enough to stay home.

Daughter #1 (age 11) napped yesterday evening, didn't want to get up this morning. Her color didn't look right but not really bad enough to keep her home. Guess I was wrong. She was sick enough to go to the nurse for a nap - which didn't revive her.

Now, I have to decide to send her tomorrow or not. I wish there was a button telling me if she can do school or not tomorrow.

2. More patience. When I'm sick, I gripe plenty. It's so much harder to listen to someone else feel pitiful.

3. To become a more easy going, flexible, tolerant mother. I think it's been 8 or 9 weeks since I've had a normal week. And I'm getting pretty irritable.

Each week, something has disrupted my plans:

• There was a 2 hr school delay. Actually, there might have been a 2 hr delay the previous week, too. And there was a snow day in January - can't remember if it was adjacent to these other schedule disruption weeks.
• Daughter #2 was sick. There was a school cancelation for snow.
• Daughter #1 was sick.
• I was sick, full week of flu.
• I was recovering from week of flu and still taking naps.
• I was mostly better but there was an early dismissal (there might have been a 2 hr delay a different day that week.)
• A daughter was sick (sadly, I can't remember which one.)
• Both kids home for Spring Break.
• Now, one kid came home sick today. And, I've got no idea whether she's well enough to send tomorrow.

Maybe other people can roll with these things better than I can. But I'm pretty exhausted and frustrated with the whole scenario. I want control of my life back. I want control of my schedule. And, it ain't happening anytime soon.

Next week, my mother is coming to town for a couple of days. I'll miss part of a work day getting her at the airport and part of a work day taking her to my brother's. Now, I was the one who said that I was happy to pick her up and would make whatever schedule work. So I'm not complaining about the flight schedule. I just wish I had maybe a couple of weeks of regular life interjected between now and her arrival. Regular life seems pretty elusive right now...

The No Nap Plan

You know how babies go from two naps a day to one? And there's a little adjustment process.


And then eventually, they head toward preschool and ultimately give up the nap altogether? But then there's a backlash... You find them 1. cranky and 2. needing extra sleep at night?


Just hold that image in your mind as you continue to read.




Sunday afternoon, I came down sick. Since then, I've been alternating between sitting in my bed and laying in my bed. That's pretty much the extent of my activity. Sometimes I even get up and go get a Diet Coke from the frig. It's been a terribly exciting life...


For several days, I said that I had either a bad cold or a light flu. Now, as I'm starting to see the light at the end of the illness track, I have to admit it: Truly, if I've been in bed for five days, barely even talking on the phone, too sick to sit up to type - that maybe has to count as a bad flu, not just a light flu.


A light flu might have had me slowed down a day or two.


A bad flu has made me blow through (pun intended) two and a half boxes of Puffs, take daily naps, talk softly and refrain from laughing so as not to spark coughing fits, reschedule appointments, talk quietly through other appointments, and most significantly, miss my new niece's entrance into this world.

I have learned valuable lessons - such as the fact that it is possible to brush your teeth even with a throat lozenge tucked away in your cheek. When lozenges keep you from coughing fits that leave you with sore rib muscles, you will try most anything to keep the lozenge in position.

On Thursday, I managed to get my contacts in and put make up on. It was quite an accomplishment. I went to a meeting and went home to lay down. Then I had another meeting. I lasted the entire day without a nap. But just like any new "no nap plan" toddler, I experienced rebound exhaustion and slept 10 1/2 hours that night.

I put myself back on the nap plan, Friday was just a short nap. But today, I've had two relatively long naps. I'm planning my naps for Sunday in hopes of resting enough to be close to fully functional on Monday.

You may be thinking - Why does this matter? Well, dear reader, I tell you my tale of woe to illustrate two primary points:

1. This flu is a bear. If you get it, just roll with it.

2. Perhaps it's easier for some people than others to let go of control. I definitely hate to let go of control - and this week has been an exercise in letting go, relaxing my grip on my life, and letting myself rely on people. And, if I have learned to take assistance from others, then perhaps it was not all for naught.

and - maybe there's a third point, especially for the mothers reading...

3. My illness has been an opportunity for my kids. My 11 year old didn't want to make me Ramen noodles on Wednesday. So, my 9 year old took it on herself to make them. I was able to instruct her from afar - and she was so proud of herself. She was so proud of herself that the following day, she made another batch of Ramen noodles - in the same, as yet unwashed pan... but that's a tale for another day...

Stay well. And, hold the vision that eventually I will return to the grown up no nap plan.