Sunday, March 23, 2008

Day 1 Transformation Revolution - 21 Days toward Transformation

Transformation Revolution - 21 Days toward Transformation

Day 1 Transformation Revolution

Welcome to the revolution. I am so glad you are here. If you are still reading, there is probably something about your life you want to change.


(I promise that most days you won’t have this much to read. There is just more to say today to get us started on the right track.)


If you are like most people, you probably actually have a laundry list of things you think you should or could improve.

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit. Personally, it takes me much longer but 21 days is a good start. (I really do not know who this “they” is who decided that it takes the magic 21 days, but “they” apparently do not live with me. But I digress…)

For the next 21 days, you will find a few new things on this blog. Each day until April 14th, I will give you something to think about and something to do.

Take what you like and leave the rest. I have a rationale for everything I will post, but if what I suggest does not fit you or is not comfortable, then don’t do it. You define your life here. I would encourage you to stretch and try new things, but if you are not comfortable then don’t do it.

Things to do:

1. Get a journal – doesn’t matter what kind. It could be a small pocket sized notebook, some paper stapled together, or a lovely book. Or, you could choose an online journal, like livejournal.com or other similar sites.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I have always hated journaling. I felt funny writing things down. I worried that someone would find my journals and know how I really felt. Last year, I started an online journal. That works a lot better for me. I can type out my thoughts pretty fast.

I would really encourage you to find some type of journal where you can do the exercises you will find here each day. Writing out your thoughts makes the work more tangible and real. Writing down what you want to change or transform in your life speeds the process.

2. Write down everything that is working well in your life. Yes, everything. I’ll explain why in just a moment. But this is the assignment – write down everything in your life that is going well.

Something to think about:

You may be thinking, “Why is Dr. Leah making us start a Transformation Revolution with a list of what is going well?? This makes no sense to me!”

Well, thank you for raising the issue. (OK, I get that I am just talking to myself here, but bear with me and pretend we are having a conversation.)

Here is a partial list of reasons why we are starting with what is right:

a. Change is always easier if you are focused on the good things in life. We spend SO much time thinking about what is wrong that we start to think that our lives are more wrong than right. Almost always, our lives have more good in them than pain. And, really, even at those times when the pain outweighs the positives, there are usually positive aspects that mitigate the painful ones.


b. When we start to create a change in our lives, it becomes incredibly easy to take a leap to feeling that everything is wrong. It’s just human nature. We look at the one thing that is wrong and then roll immediately to five more things that bother us. When we look to change something about ourselves, it is far too easy to float down a river of self-denigration, finding reasons to put ourselves down.

Putting yourself down is quite easy and is societally very acceptable but is really unproductive when trying to create lasting change. You have to stay in a positive mental place to create change that lasts.

c. You can’t not think about something. You know the old example, if I say “don’t think about a polka dot elephant,” you will immediately think of a polka dot elephant. It doesn’t work (not well anyway) to avoid things. It’s much easier to define what to do instead. It’s easier to create a change of adding something in rather than deleting something. It’s easier to “start to exercise” rather than to “stop being a couch potato.” I think this part of the reason for the success of 12 step groups. They replace a behavior with a new one. It’s hard to just let go of behaviors. You have to know what to replace them with.

Focusing on what is already going well in your life helps you get direction for transformation. It’s easier to add in rather than subtract. It’s easier to change when you know what is going well already.

d. Think of transformation as enhancing who you already are. We never really give up who we are when we make changes. We enhance who we are. Keep in mind that we are improving who you already are.

Starting with a list of what’s going right provides the right foundation for change.

e. The greatest ease of success comes from building your life around what works for you as an individual. There is no use trying to make yourself be someone you aren’t. (The good news is that most people are far more fascinating than they ever knew.)

You will be far better off if you create systems for transformation that are built on your current strengths. I will tell you how to use this information in the coming days. Just keep in mind that I would encourage you to always think about what has worked for you in the past and create new strategies based on what has already been successful for you.

To get you started thinking, here is part of my personal list of What’s Working:

What’s Working:
· Spring Break weather felt like spring.
· Kids got along well on Friday – really helpful to each other
· Things always seem to work out well for me
· Recently started reading some really inspirational material, I'm back in a very focused mode
· Re-reading Four Hour Work Week, very thought-provoking
· I already have the 21 day program lined out in advance! Woo-hoo!
· I love my shower curtain. Got it for free from dad and step-mother. I love a bargain.
· Daughter #1 says to add, “You have the perfect job, great kids, blah, blah, blah.”
· My daughters keep me enjoying life.
· I’ve learned to be a positive, optimistic person in the past 15 years.
· Streaming audio over the internet rocks.
· I have figured out how to be a writer.
· I have great friends and a great husband.
· I have a really easy time finding great parking places.
· The choir sang Handel’s Hallelujah chorus this morning. First time I’ve ever heard it in person.
· Sometimes I’m good at stopping to smell the roses – much improved in this area in my life.
· I am great at noticing the little things – like a great sunrise, easy traffic, or running into the right person at the right time.
· I easily find great people to be around.
· I have learned how to be open-minded and non-judgmental and that makes my life work so
much better.
· Spring is finally here.
· I’m pretty good at finding the best in everything.
· I found the book that I lost in my office

Get started on your list of What's Working. Add to it each day.

Post your thoughts on the Revolution and what you're transforming in your life in the Comments section of this post. Or, just post that you're joining the Transformation Revolution. Welcome to the trip!

2 comments:

Eatgoodfood said...

Dr. Leah,
This seems like a great program! I can't wait to learn more and transform.

Melain said...

Well, count me in. I have a CA-RAZY list of things I want to improve on.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. It's hard to sum yourself up in one paragraph, is it not?! I'll be sure to check back in and see what you wrote.

xoxo
Melain