Today's meme is the 6 word epitaph.
Feel free to post yours in the comments.
Leah's 6 Words:
Relationships and ideas. All that matters.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Day 3 Transformation Revolution - 21 Days toward Transformation
Day 3.
Day 3. Transformation Revolution
Next we will look at the topic with which you may have thought I would begin.
What do you want?
If something is wrong in your life or if you want things to be improved in some way – then what is it that you want?
It seems to me that frequently the biggest risk is the risk to admit what you want. Once you can handle that, things get somewhat easier.
Write down what you want from your life – your ideal life. I know it’s risky, especially if the things you want are things you have wanted a long time. I have no promises, just a process to hopefully get you closer to where you really want to be.
It is really difficult for most people to write down what they most want. Sometimes, people just truly have become so dissociated from themselves that they have no idea what they truly desire. Other times, they know what they want but have a hard time admitting it to others. And some people can easily say what they want, but they are like Lady Macbeth, protesting too much. As a result they are pushing themselves away from what they most want to receive.
Something to do:
Write down every single thing about what you want for your life. Include your home, career, family, extended family, friends, business, fun, vacations. The list goes on and on. Write down everything about what you want. Then we’ll look at how to get out of your own way so that you can get to where you really want to be.
Day 3. Transformation Revolution
Next we will look at the topic with which you may have thought I would begin.
What do you want?
If something is wrong in your life or if you want things to be improved in some way – then what is it that you want?
It seems to me that frequently the biggest risk is the risk to admit what you want. Once you can handle that, things get somewhat easier.
Write down what you want from your life – your ideal life. I know it’s risky, especially if the things you want are things you have wanted a long time. I have no promises, just a process to hopefully get you closer to where you really want to be.
It is really difficult for most people to write down what they most want. Sometimes, people just truly have become so dissociated from themselves that they have no idea what they truly desire. Other times, they know what they want but have a hard time admitting it to others. And some people can easily say what they want, but they are like Lady Macbeth, protesting too much. As a result they are pushing themselves away from what they most want to receive.
Something to do:
Write down every single thing about what you want for your life. Include your home, career, family, extended family, friends, business, fun, vacations. The list goes on and on. Write down everything about what you want. Then we’ll look at how to get out of your own way so that you can get to where you really want to be.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I need an illness indicator button (among other things)
Now that daughter is no longer sitting on my arm, watching me profess my love for Jon Stewart, I can blog freely (more freely anyway.)
Here's what I need:
1. An illness indicator button on the forehead of each child with two settings. Green for "Send her to school; she's not that sick," and Red for "Keep her at home; she's actually sick." This is one of the worst parts of parenting - the whole questioning of whether a child is sick enough to stay home.
Daughter #1 (age 11) napped yesterday evening, didn't want to get up this morning. Her color didn't look right but not really bad enough to keep her home. Guess I was wrong. She was sick enough to go to the nurse for a nap - which didn't revive her.
Now, I have to decide to send her tomorrow or not. I wish there was a button telling me if she can do school or not tomorrow.
2. More patience. When I'm sick, I gripe plenty. It's so much harder to listen to someone else feel pitiful.
3. To become a more easy going, flexible, tolerant mother. I think it's been 8 or 9 weeks since I've had a normal week. And I'm getting pretty irritable.
Each week, something has disrupted my plans:
Next week, my mother is coming to town for a couple of days. I'll miss part of a work day getting her at the airport and part of a work day taking her to my brother's. Now, I was the one who said that I was happy to pick her up and would make whatever schedule work. So I'm not complaining about the flight schedule. I just wish I had maybe a couple of weeks of regular life interjected between now and her arrival. Regular life seems pretty elusive right now...
Here's what I need:
1. An illness indicator button on the forehead of each child with two settings. Green for "Send her to school; she's not that sick," and Red for "Keep her at home; she's actually sick." This is one of the worst parts of parenting - the whole questioning of whether a child is sick enough to stay home.
Daughter #1 (age 11) napped yesterday evening, didn't want to get up this morning. Her color didn't look right but not really bad enough to keep her home. Guess I was wrong. She was sick enough to go to the nurse for a nap - which didn't revive her.
Now, I have to decide to send her tomorrow or not. I wish there was a button telling me if she can do school or not tomorrow.
2. More patience. When I'm sick, I gripe plenty. It's so much harder to listen to someone else feel pitiful.
3. To become a more easy going, flexible, tolerant mother. I think it's been 8 or 9 weeks since I've had a normal week. And I'm getting pretty irritable.
Each week, something has disrupted my plans:
- There was a 2 hr school delay. Actually, there might have been a 2 hr delay the previous week, too. And there was a snow day in January - can't remember if it was adjacent to these other schedule disruption weeks.
- Daughter #2 was sick. There was a school cancelation for snow.
- Daughter #1 was sick.
- I was sick, full week of flu.
- I was recovering from week of flu and still taking naps.
- I was mostly better but there was an early dismissal (there might have been a 2 hr delay a different day that week.)
- A daughter was sick (sadly, I can't remember which one.)
- Both kids home for Spring Break.
- Now, one kid came home sick today. And, I've got no idea whether she's well enough to send tomorrow.
Next week, my mother is coming to town for a couple of days. I'll miss part of a work day getting her at the airport and part of a work day taking her to my brother's. Now, I was the one who said that I was happy to pick her up and would make whatever schedule work. So I'm not complaining about the flight schedule. I just wish I had maybe a couple of weeks of regular life interjected between now and her arrival. Regular life seems pretty elusive right now...
M*A*S*H Update
They are now playing M*A*S*H reruns for two full hours each weekday. How exciting is that?! I flipped to the Hallmark Channel a little early and found that MASH was already on. It just makes my day. Now the only question is what I'm supposed to watch between MASH and the reruns of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report... I'm totally in love with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. They make my life so much more enjoyable.
Day 2 Transformation Revolution - 21 Days toward Transformation
Day 2 Transformation Revolution
Things to think about:
Let’s review Day 1. Did you have trouble making the list of what’s working? Lots of people do. Part of the situation is that we are far more used to looking at what’s wrong than what’s right. (Honestly, it took me most of a day to come up with 70 items.)
For the purposes of the Day 1 exercise, you do not have to have this thing be true 100% of the time to count it as something that’s working. You can get along with your spouse, kids or boss only part of the time but still count it as something that is working. Just stay focused on what’s working well about it. Don’t worry about the fact that it’s not true all the time. (Don’t take away the compliment that you are effectively giving your life by negating it. Instead of “I like that my kids get along – when they do, which isn’t often enough,” try “I love when my kids get along” or “My kids get along so well.” For now, focus on what’s working.)
For Day 2, we’re switching gears. On Day 2, we’re looking at what isn’t working. Each of us has many things in our lives that aren’t right yet or aren’t working well yet.
You may have been tempted to start this list yesterday when you listed what was going well, but today you have full permission to identify every single thing that is not right yet in your life.
Note: I think of this as things that are not right yet – not things that are wrong. These things just aren’t right as of this moment. They may soon become right, you never know what could happen.
Make a list of everything that you’re tolerating in your life. The list may be quite long – even 70-100 items. Do not worry about doing anything about these things yet. Just list the things that you are tolerating.
Things to do:
a. Go back to your Day 1 assignment and add 3 more things that are working well in your life.
More examples to spark your thinking:
My car is great
My boss is helpful
I have a good job
I enjoy my job
My spouse enjoys his/her job
I find pennies lying on the floor all the time
My kids get along well.
b. Write down everything that you’re tolerating in your life. List everything that bothers you – big and small alike.
Some examples:
My taxes need done (now)
Carpet needs cleaned
Filing needs done
Laundry is driving me nuts – I do the laundry then more shows up
I’m behind on a couple of projects
I want to go out for fun more often
I hate doing housework
I need to email a bunch of the people I’ve met this year to invite them to subscribe to the newsletter
Dirty dishes – that keep appearing
Someone's cereal bowl is on the living room floor (not mine)
(Please just pretend that you’re not seeing a theme here… Actually, I have plenty of other things that I am tolerating in my life right now. I'll just leave those for my journal.)
Again, don’t worry about doing anything about the tolerated items yet. Just make a long list of tolerations. Topic areas might include work, friends, immediate family, extended family, children, spouse, hobbies/leisure, spirituality/religion, career, clubs/organizations, physical environment, community.
See you tomorrow!
Things to think about:
Let’s review Day 1. Did you have trouble making the list of what’s working? Lots of people do. Part of the situation is that we are far more used to looking at what’s wrong than what’s right. (Honestly, it took me most of a day to come up with 70 items.)
For the purposes of the Day 1 exercise, you do not have to have this thing be true 100% of the time to count it as something that’s working. You can get along with your spouse, kids or boss only part of the time but still count it as something that is working. Just stay focused on what’s working well about it. Don’t worry about the fact that it’s not true all the time. (Don’t take away the compliment that you are effectively giving your life by negating it. Instead of “I like that my kids get along – when they do, which isn’t often enough,” try “I love when my kids get along” or “My kids get along so well.” For now, focus on what’s working.)
For Day 2, we’re switching gears. On Day 2, we’re looking at what isn’t working. Each of us has many things in our lives that aren’t right yet or aren’t working well yet.
You may have been tempted to start this list yesterday when you listed what was going well, but today you have full permission to identify every single thing that is not right yet in your life.
Note: I think of this as things that are not right yet – not things that are wrong. These things just aren’t right as of this moment. They may soon become right, you never know what could happen.
Make a list of everything that you’re tolerating in your life. The list may be quite long – even 70-100 items. Do not worry about doing anything about these things yet. Just list the things that you are tolerating.
Things to do:
a. Go back to your Day 1 assignment and add 3 more things that are working well in your life.
More examples to spark your thinking:
My car is great
My boss is helpful
I have a good job
I enjoy my job
My spouse enjoys his/her job
I find pennies lying on the floor all the time
My kids get along well.
b. Write down everything that you’re tolerating in your life. List everything that bothers you – big and small alike.
Some examples:
My taxes need done (now)
Carpet needs cleaned
Filing needs done
Laundry is driving me nuts – I do the laundry then more shows up
I’m behind on a couple of projects
I want to go out for fun more often
I hate doing housework
I need to email a bunch of the people I’ve met this year to invite them to subscribe to the newsletter
Dirty dishes – that keep appearing
Someone's cereal bowl is on the living room floor (not mine)
(Please just pretend that you’re not seeing a theme here… Actually, I have plenty of other things that I am tolerating in my life right now. I'll just leave those for my journal.)
Again, don’t worry about doing anything about the tolerated items yet. Just make a long list of tolerations. Topic areas might include work, friends, immediate family, extended family, children, spouse, hobbies/leisure, spirituality/religion, career, clubs/organizations, physical environment, community.
See you tomorrow!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Day 1 Transformation Revolution - 21 Days toward Transformation
Transformation Revolution - 21 Days toward Transformation
Day 1 Transformation Revolution
Welcome to the revolution. I am so glad you are here. If you are still reading, there is probably something about your life you want to change.
(I promise that most days you won’t have this much to read. There is just more to say today to get us started on the right track.)
If you are like most people, you probably actually have a laundry list of things you think you should or could improve.
They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit. Personally, it takes me much longer but 21 days is a good start. (I really do not know who this “they” is who decided that it takes the magic 21 days, but “they” apparently do not live with me. But I digress…)
For the next 21 days, you will find a few new things on this blog. Each day until April 14th, I will give you something to think about and something to do.
Take what you like and leave the rest. I have a rationale for everything I will post, but if what I suggest does not fit you or is not comfortable, then don’t do it. You define your life here. I would encourage you to stretch and try new things, but if you are not comfortable then don’t do it.
Things to do:
1. Get a journal – doesn’t matter what kind. It could be a small pocket sized notebook, some paper stapled together, or a lovely book. Or, you could choose an online journal, like livejournal.com or other similar sites.
In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I have always hated journaling. I felt funny writing things down. I worried that someone would find my journals and know how I really felt. Last year, I started an online journal. That works a lot better for me. I can type out my thoughts pretty fast.
I would really encourage you to find some type of journal where you can do the exercises you will find here each day. Writing out your thoughts makes the work more tangible and real. Writing down what you want to change or transform in your life speeds the process.
2. Write down everything that is working well in your life. Yes, everything. I’ll explain why in just a moment. But this is the assignment – write down everything in your life that is going well.
Something to think about:
You may be thinking, “Why is Dr. Leah making us start a Transformation Revolution with a list of what is going well?? This makes no sense to me!”
Well, thank you for raising the issue. (OK, I get that I am just talking to myself here, but bear with me and pretend we are having a conversation.)
Here is a partial list of reasons why we are starting with what is right:
a. Change is always easier if you are focused on the good things in life. We spend SO much time thinking about what is wrong that we start to think that our lives are more wrong than right. Almost always, our lives have more good in them than pain. And, really, even at those times when the pain outweighs the positives, there are usually positive aspects that mitigate the painful ones.
b. When we start to create a change in our lives, it becomes incredibly easy to take a leap to feeling that everything is wrong. It’s just human nature. We look at the one thing that is wrong and then roll immediately to five more things that bother us. When we look to change something about ourselves, it is far too easy to float down a river of self-denigration, finding reasons to put ourselves down.
Putting yourself down is quite easy and is societally very acceptable but is really unproductive when trying to create lasting change. You have to stay in a positive mental place to create change that lasts.
c. You can’t not think about something. You know the old example, if I say “don’t think about a polka dot elephant,” you will immediately think of a polka dot elephant. It doesn’t work (not well anyway) to avoid things. It’s much easier to define what to do instead. It’s easier to create a change of adding something in rather than deleting something. It’s easier to “start to exercise” rather than to “stop being a couch potato.” I think this part of the reason for the success of 12 step groups. They replace a behavior with a new one. It’s hard to just let go of behaviors. You have to know what to replace them with.
Focusing on what is already going well in your life helps you get direction for transformation. It’s easier to add in rather than subtract. It’s easier to change when you know what is going well already.
d. Think of transformation as enhancing who you already are. We never really give up who we are when we make changes. We enhance who we are. Keep in mind that we are improving who you already are.
Starting with a list of what’s going right provides the right foundation for change.
e. The greatest ease of success comes from building your life around what works for you as an individual. There is no use trying to make yourself be someone you aren’t. (The good news is that most people are far more fascinating than they ever knew.)
You will be far better off if you create systems for transformation that are built on your current strengths. I will tell you how to use this information in the coming days. Just keep in mind that I would encourage you to always think about what has worked for you in the past and create new strategies based on what has already been successful for you.
To get you started thinking, here is part of my personal list of What’s Working:
What’s Working:
· Spring Break weather felt like spring.
· Kids got along well on Friday – really helpful to each other
· Things always seem to work out well for me
· Recently started reading some really inspirational material, I'm back in a very focused mode
· Re-reading Four Hour Work Week, very thought-provoking
· I already have the 21 day program lined out in advance! Woo-hoo!
· I love my shower curtain. Got it for free from dad and step-mother. I love a bargain.
· Daughter #1 says to add, “You have the perfect job, great kids, blah, blah, blah.”
· My daughters keep me enjoying life.
· I’ve learned to be a positive, optimistic person in the past 15 years.
· Streaming audio over the internet rocks.
· I have figured out how to be a writer.
· I have great friends and a great husband.
· I have a really easy time finding great parking places.
· The choir sang Handel’s Hallelujah chorus this morning. First time I’ve ever heard it in person.
· Sometimes I’m good at stopping to smell the roses – much improved in this area in my life.
· I am great at noticing the little things – like a great sunrise, easy traffic, or running into the right person at the right time.
· I easily find great people to be around.
· I have learned how to be open-minded and non-judgmental and that makes my life work so
much better.
· Spring is finally here.
· I’m pretty good at finding the best in everything.
· I found the book that I lost in my office
Day 1 Transformation Revolution
Welcome to the revolution. I am so glad you are here. If you are still reading, there is probably something about your life you want to change.
(I promise that most days you won’t have this much to read. There is just more to say today to get us started on the right track.)
If you are like most people, you probably actually have a laundry list of things you think you should or could improve.
They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit. Personally, it takes me much longer but 21 days is a good start. (I really do not know who this “they” is who decided that it takes the magic 21 days, but “they” apparently do not live with me. But I digress…)
For the next 21 days, you will find a few new things on this blog. Each day until April 14th, I will give you something to think about and something to do.
Take what you like and leave the rest. I have a rationale for everything I will post, but if what I suggest does not fit you or is not comfortable, then don’t do it. You define your life here. I would encourage you to stretch and try new things, but if you are not comfortable then don’t do it.
Things to do:
1. Get a journal – doesn’t matter what kind. It could be a small pocket sized notebook, some paper stapled together, or a lovely book. Or, you could choose an online journal, like livejournal.com or other similar sites.
In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I have always hated journaling. I felt funny writing things down. I worried that someone would find my journals and know how I really felt. Last year, I started an online journal. That works a lot better for me. I can type out my thoughts pretty fast.
I would really encourage you to find some type of journal where you can do the exercises you will find here each day. Writing out your thoughts makes the work more tangible and real. Writing down what you want to change or transform in your life speeds the process.
2. Write down everything that is working well in your life. Yes, everything. I’ll explain why in just a moment. But this is the assignment – write down everything in your life that is going well.
Something to think about:
You may be thinking, “Why is Dr. Leah making us start a Transformation Revolution with a list of what is going well?? This makes no sense to me!”
Well, thank you for raising the issue. (OK, I get that I am just talking to myself here, but bear with me and pretend we are having a conversation.)
Here is a partial list of reasons why we are starting with what is right:
a. Change is always easier if you are focused on the good things in life. We spend SO much time thinking about what is wrong that we start to think that our lives are more wrong than right. Almost always, our lives have more good in them than pain. And, really, even at those times when the pain outweighs the positives, there are usually positive aspects that mitigate the painful ones.
b. When we start to create a change in our lives, it becomes incredibly easy to take a leap to feeling that everything is wrong. It’s just human nature. We look at the one thing that is wrong and then roll immediately to five more things that bother us. When we look to change something about ourselves, it is far too easy to float down a river of self-denigration, finding reasons to put ourselves down.
Putting yourself down is quite easy and is societally very acceptable but is really unproductive when trying to create lasting change. You have to stay in a positive mental place to create change that lasts.
c. You can’t not think about something. You know the old example, if I say “don’t think about a polka dot elephant,” you will immediately think of a polka dot elephant. It doesn’t work (not well anyway) to avoid things. It’s much easier to define what to do instead. It’s easier to create a change of adding something in rather than deleting something. It’s easier to “start to exercise” rather than to “stop being a couch potato.” I think this part of the reason for the success of 12 step groups. They replace a behavior with a new one. It’s hard to just let go of behaviors. You have to know what to replace them with.
Focusing on what is already going well in your life helps you get direction for transformation. It’s easier to add in rather than subtract. It’s easier to change when you know what is going well already.
d. Think of transformation as enhancing who you already are. We never really give up who we are when we make changes. We enhance who we are. Keep in mind that we are improving who you already are.
Starting with a list of what’s going right provides the right foundation for change.
e. The greatest ease of success comes from building your life around what works for you as an individual. There is no use trying to make yourself be someone you aren’t. (The good news is that most people are far more fascinating than they ever knew.)
You will be far better off if you create systems for transformation that are built on your current strengths. I will tell you how to use this information in the coming days. Just keep in mind that I would encourage you to always think about what has worked for you in the past and create new strategies based on what has already been successful for you.
To get you started thinking, here is part of my personal list of What’s Working:
What’s Working:
· Spring Break weather felt like spring.
· Kids got along well on Friday – really helpful to each other
· Things always seem to work out well for me
· Recently started reading some really inspirational material, I'm back in a very focused mode
· Re-reading Four Hour Work Week, very thought-provoking
· I already have the 21 day program lined out in advance! Woo-hoo!
· I love my shower curtain. Got it for free from dad and step-mother. I love a bargain.
· Daughter #1 says to add, “You have the perfect job, great kids, blah, blah, blah.”
· My daughters keep me enjoying life.
· I’ve learned to be a positive, optimistic person in the past 15 years.
· Streaming audio over the internet rocks.
· I have figured out how to be a writer.
· I have great friends and a great husband.
· I have a really easy time finding great parking places.
· The choir sang Handel’s Hallelujah chorus this morning. First time I’ve ever heard it in person.
· Sometimes I’m good at stopping to smell the roses – much improved in this area in my life.
· I am great at noticing the little things – like a great sunrise, easy traffic, or running into the right person at the right time.
· I easily find great people to be around.
· I have learned how to be open-minded and non-judgmental and that makes my life work so
much better.
· Spring is finally here.
· I’m pretty good at finding the best in everything.
· I found the book that I lost in my office
Get started on your list of What's Working. Add to it each day.
Post your thoughts on the Revolution and what you're transforming in your life in the Comments section of this post. Or, just post that you're joining the Transformation Revolution. Welcome to the trip!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Wikipedian Protester
Permanent link to this comic: http://xkcd.com/285/
Thursday, March 20, 2008
This is how much I like you...
My friend, Angela, just called. I invited her to stop over.
It's 1:20 pm. I've not showered, not dressed for company, have on the eyeglasses I've had since 1998 (maybe longer), hair hadn't been combed, the list goes on.
And it strikes me - this is how much I like Angela: I could go get dressed, comb my hair, and brush my teeth. But I am at ease enough to not need to. So, I got a little more dressed. I combed my hair. Cleaned yesterday's mascara out from under my eyes. And, welcomed her in...
(Of course, the fact that she came bearing Diet Coke would have trumped any dis-ease I had.)
It's 1:20 pm. I've not showered, not dressed for company, have on the eyeglasses I've had since 1998 (maybe longer), hair hadn't been combed, the list goes on.
And it strikes me - this is how much I like Angela: I could go get dressed, comb my hair, and brush my teeth. But I am at ease enough to not need to. So, I got a little more dressed. I combed my hair. Cleaned yesterday's mascara out from under my eyes. And, welcomed her in...
(Of course, the fact that she came bearing Diet Coke would have trumped any dis-ease I had.)
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Dressing for My Date
You know how it is when you first date someone? You wear clothes you think they will like, things that you feel great in, clothes they have complimented you on, that type of thing. He likes you in green; you wear green. He likes you in blue; you wear blue.
Well, today, I spent just as much time dressing for my date. It's just that my date was one month old. Daughters and I spent the day with the new niece (and her big sister). Do you realize how hard it is to dress for a newborn?
If you're planning on having some quality baby cuddling time, you have to be careful of things.
No necklaces - she won't be able to sleep on your neck.
No long dangling earrings that could be caught by little hands.
No shirts with details or scratchy buttons - she could wake up. (First rule of babyland - do not wake happy, sleeping baby.)
And, remember to bring an extra shirt with you to be able to change before afternoon meeting. Even though she does not appear to be a spit-upper, you never know when that could change at an inopportune moment.
Nothing better than dressing for a date, especially when the date is as sweet as this one is.
Well, today, I spent just as much time dressing for my date. It's just that my date was one month old. Daughters and I spent the day with the new niece (and her big sister). Do you realize how hard it is to dress for a newborn?
If you're planning on having some quality baby cuddling time, you have to be careful of things.
No necklaces - she won't be able to sleep on your neck.
No long dangling earrings that could be caught by little hands.
No shirts with details or scratchy buttons - she could wake up. (First rule of babyland - do not wake happy, sleeping baby.)
And, remember to bring an extra shirt with you to be able to change before afternoon meeting. Even though she does not appear to be a spit-upper, you never know when that could change at an inopportune moment.
Nothing better than dressing for a date, especially when the date is as sweet as this one is.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sleep Overs?!? Why do we call them Sleep Overs?
Last night, my daughter had a sleep over. Why don't we call them "Stay Up All Night Over's"???!
The main joy of the evening was a late night run to Walmart. At 8 pm, Lexi told me that she wanted me to take them to Walmart at midnight. I do enjoy a late night trip to Walmart, however, I'd gone to bed super late the night before. I wasn't really excited. But, it's Spring Break here. Tons of their friends have gone to warm and wonderful places or indoor water parks, like Great Wolf Lodge. Could I not oblige a simple trip to Walmart? Mother guilt took hold of me.
At 11:57 pm we pulled out of the driveway. Two daughters, one friend, and me. We frolicked in "our" Walmart - exploring the Easter aisles, looking at cute baby and toddler clothes for the nieces, gathering Diet Coke and other necessary supplies - all with me on the verge of sleep deprived napping. (I will claim credit for holding my own though - there was a sudden huge sound of the stocker dropping a wooden pallet on top of another wooden pallet right behind me. I didn't even cuss, shocked and scared though I was. ;-) Thank God for small miracles.)
When it was clear that we were headed out, Lexi started brainstorming about what we could do next - Could we go to the other Walmart? The one across town?
Ahhh... mother guilt took hold again... the cold air on my face, the guilt and responsibility for bringing joy to a boring Spring Break, and the drive to be the cool mom... it's a dangerous combination. Also, I now had fortification in the form of a 24 oz bottle of Diet Coke.
I turned left out of the parking lot, causing great confusion. Until they realized we weren't going back home yet.
We drove to the other side of town -
1. Saw a train (which was terribly exciting as we rarely see trains in town), Kati thought there were about 3 cars in the train.
2. Drove by Lexi's school - looking to see what it looked like at night.
3. Drove back toward the train tracks to count the cars in the train. There were actually 99 cars in the train. Kati says that's o.k., she was only off by 96. Good laugh all around.
4. Drove over the highway to see what 12:45 am traffic looks like. There were more vehicles on the road than I anticipated.
5. Went to Denny's. Had milkshakes. Took a picture of the girls at Denny's at 1:15 am - but I haven't figured out how to get it from camera to computer yet.
6. Went to the second Walmart. Let Lexi and her friend, Stephanie, go in and buy gum to prove they were there. Kati was getting pretty tired by this point.
7. Arrived back home at 1:57 am. Exactly (accidentally but exactly) two hours after we left.
We may not have lounged by the beach this Spring Break, but at least we now have a story to tell!
The main joy of the evening was a late night run to Walmart. At 8 pm, Lexi told me that she wanted me to take them to Walmart at midnight. I do enjoy a late night trip to Walmart, however, I'd gone to bed super late the night before. I wasn't really excited. But, it's Spring Break here. Tons of their friends have gone to warm and wonderful places or indoor water parks, like Great Wolf Lodge. Could I not oblige a simple trip to Walmart? Mother guilt took hold of me.
At 11:57 pm we pulled out of the driveway. Two daughters, one friend, and me. We frolicked in "our" Walmart - exploring the Easter aisles, looking at cute baby and toddler clothes for the nieces, gathering Diet Coke and other necessary supplies - all with me on the verge of sleep deprived napping. (I will claim credit for holding my own though - there was a sudden huge sound of the stocker dropping a wooden pallet on top of another wooden pallet right behind me. I didn't even cuss, shocked and scared though I was. ;-) Thank God for small miracles.)
When it was clear that we were headed out, Lexi started brainstorming about what we could do next - Could we go to the other Walmart? The one across town?
Ahhh... mother guilt took hold again... the cold air on my face, the guilt and responsibility for bringing joy to a boring Spring Break, and the drive to be the cool mom... it's a dangerous combination. Also, I now had fortification in the form of a 24 oz bottle of Diet Coke.
I turned left out of the parking lot, causing great confusion. Until they realized we weren't going back home yet.
We drove to the other side of town -
1. Saw a train (which was terribly exciting as we rarely see trains in town), Kati thought there were about 3 cars in the train.
2. Drove by Lexi's school - looking to see what it looked like at night.
3. Drove back toward the train tracks to count the cars in the train. There were actually 99 cars in the train. Kati says that's o.k., she was only off by 96. Good laugh all around.
4. Drove over the highway to see what 12:45 am traffic looks like. There were more vehicles on the road than I anticipated.
5. Went to Denny's. Had milkshakes. Took a picture of the girls at Denny's at 1:15 am - but I haven't figured out how to get it from camera to computer yet.
6. Went to the second Walmart. Let Lexi and her friend, Stephanie, go in and buy gum to prove they were there. Kati was getting pretty tired by this point.
7. Arrived back home at 1:57 am. Exactly (accidentally but exactly) two hours after we left.
We may not have lounged by the beach this Spring Break, but at least we now have a story to tell!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Og Mandino
"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."
Og Mandino
Does more need to be said???
Og Mandino
Does more need to be said???
Creating Your Self
I was 13 when we moved. Within a few days of being in my new environment, I began to realize that these people knew nothing of me.
The new people in my life did not know who others saw me to be, they didn't know the role(s) within which I had cast myself, and most importantly, they didn't know how I saw myself. They knew nothing of what I saw as "me." In retrospect, I am surprised that I saw all this happening, even at 13. I knew I had the opportunity to create myself anew. I saw that I was the author.
Problem was - I could redefine myself to everyone (family excluded perhaps) but myself. I valiantly tried to reinvent myself. I stretched who I was, but I remained limited in ways that were solely self-imposed.
It strikes me today that in the past few months, I've joined several new social and business circles. Many people in these new places don't know the "me" I've been. There are ways in which this is very freeing and ways in which it is very intimidating. It makes me ask who I am, who I've been, and who I want to become.
The old joke says that you can never change in the eyes of your family. Actually, functional families do allow people to change. With a relatively functional family (not perfect, just relatively functional), members give each other the space to become something new. You are not limited forever by the fashion statements you made when you were 6 or what types of trouble you got in when you were 17, at least you don't have to be limited by those experiences. The past only limits you if you allow it.
One of my tasks for this coming week is to re-create my goals for this year. Things have happened recently that make me think I'm not playing a big enough game. It honestly makes me somewhat nauseous to set goals (for a host of reasons that we'll cover another day), so the idea of creating bigger goals than I already have makes me hugely nauseous. (And the idea of sharing them with other people as I will be doing on Wednesday afternoon makes me nearly apoplectic.)
Thirty minutes ago, lying in bed, unable to sleep, it occurred to me that where I am today is exactly where I was 27 years ago, when we moved. I had full opportunity to redefine myself and how I was seen. I was standing at the precipice of my future then and, again, now.
The difference is that when I was 13, I didn't realize that all meaningful reinvention has to occur within the context of who you already know yourself to be. (Bear with me, it's not a full paradox, just a little ironic.) When you reinvent yourself, you have to remain true to the core of your being. If you don't then the ways you stretch yourself and present yourself differently won't be authentic. So, you have to be who you already are in order to change/reinvent/transform yourself.
OK, I've just changed my mind, maybe it is a paradox...
The more you find your authentic self, the more you can be different. The more you are anchored in an appreciation of and caring about yourself, the more that you will have the safety and secure base from which to explore the world around you.
The new people in my life did not know who others saw me to be, they didn't know the role(s) within which I had cast myself, and most importantly, they didn't know how I saw myself. They knew nothing of what I saw as "me." In retrospect, I am surprised that I saw all this happening, even at 13. I knew I had the opportunity to create myself anew. I saw that I was the author.
Problem was - I could redefine myself to everyone (family excluded perhaps) but myself. I valiantly tried to reinvent myself. I stretched who I was, but I remained limited in ways that were solely self-imposed.
It strikes me today that in the past few months, I've joined several new social and business circles. Many people in these new places don't know the "me" I've been. There are ways in which this is very freeing and ways in which it is very intimidating. It makes me ask who I am, who I've been, and who I want to become.
The old joke says that you can never change in the eyes of your family. Actually, functional families do allow people to change. With a relatively functional family (not perfect, just relatively functional), members give each other the space to become something new. You are not limited forever by the fashion statements you made when you were 6 or what types of trouble you got in when you were 17, at least you don't have to be limited by those experiences. The past only limits you if you allow it.
One of my tasks for this coming week is to re-create my goals for this year. Things have happened recently that make me think I'm not playing a big enough game. It honestly makes me somewhat nauseous to set goals (for a host of reasons that we'll cover another day), so the idea of creating bigger goals than I already have makes me hugely nauseous. (And the idea of sharing them with other people as I will be doing on Wednesday afternoon makes me nearly apoplectic.)
Thirty minutes ago, lying in bed, unable to sleep, it occurred to me that where I am today is exactly where I was 27 years ago, when we moved. I had full opportunity to redefine myself and how I was seen. I was standing at the precipice of my future then and, again, now.
The difference is that when I was 13, I didn't realize that all meaningful reinvention has to occur within the context of who you already know yourself to be. (Bear with me, it's not a full paradox, just a little ironic.) When you reinvent yourself, you have to remain true to the core of your being. If you don't then the ways you stretch yourself and present yourself differently won't be authentic. So, you have to be who you already are in order to change/reinvent/transform yourself.
OK, I've just changed my mind, maybe it is a paradox...
The more you find your authentic self, the more you can be different. The more you are anchored in an appreciation of and caring about yourself, the more that you will have the safety and secure base from which to explore the world around you.
Maybe this is why the changes the 13 year old me sought to make in my public persona weren't completely effective. I couldn't have known myself well, as I was 13 and I don't think anyone knows themselves well at 13. And, I don't think I had enough time to think about where I was headed - I couldn't see the self I was trying to live into. I couldn't see the person I was here to become.
If I had known my purpose in life, if I had known myself, maybe I would have been more secure in the changes I attempted to make.
Last fall, I held a meeting with current and former clients, colleagues and friends. The task was for them to help me understand the brand of my business (which for me was also about understanding my personal brand because that led to my business brand).
I walked away from that meeting with, perhaps for the first time, a real understanding of what makes me who I am. The difficult thing was that as I began to see what people have told me about myself for years, I started to see the vision and purpose that I needed to live into. It drew me into a very different experience of myself and my world.
And, again, I am at the precipice of my future, knowing that the only real limits are the ones I have imposed upon myself, seeing that most of the people in my world are more than willing to grow with me in understanding me as well as understanding themselves, and feeling rather grateful for the people who see me as more than I see myself because that allows me space to become more fully who I am...
Sunday, March 16, 2008
The nicest thing anyone ever said to me
I found this series of posts on a forum where people posted the nicest thing anyone ever said to them.
What's the nicest thing anyone ever said to you? Have you told them how much that meant to you? Feel free to post your "nicest thing" in the comments. Post anonymously or with your name, either is ok.
What's the nicest thing anyone ever said to you? Have you told them how much that meant to you? Feel free to post your "nicest thing" in the comments. Post anonymously or with your name, either is ok.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Paris
The summer after I graduated from college, I spent six weeks in France. Years ago in time and reality, but immediate in my mind.
Even if you are not a francophile, check out this ParisDailyPhoto for links to other photo logs of cities.
Even if you are not a francophile, check out this ParisDailyPhoto for links to other photo logs of cities.
People Reading
People Reading is a cool blog I just found. The blogger takes photos of people reading around San Francisco and then describes their book, sometimes their all time favorite book, and then asks ponderable questions.
I love the concept. And, like the blogger, Sonya Worthy, I love to live vicariously through others' enjoyment of exceptional books. For me, it's as much understanding other people through understanding the impact of a book on that person as enjoying the book itself.
Also check out this blog which was inspired by Hemingway: Today in Seven Words or Less.
I love the concept. And, like the blogger, Sonya Worthy, I love to live vicariously through others' enjoyment of exceptional books. For me, it's as much understanding other people through understanding the impact of a book on that person as enjoying the book itself.
Also check out this blog which was inspired by Hemingway: Today in Seven Words or Less.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Believe
"Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."
Helen Keller
"Believe your life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact."
William James
“Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heros.”
Benjamin Disraeli
It is quite possible that I have lived my life based on these principles, without having the words for it. "So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain." What a great statement.
I've had several conversations lately about life purpose. And, quite frankly, seemingly contradictory opinions coexist easily in my head. I do believe that we are born with meaning and purpose inherent in us. And, I believe that we create our own existence.
I believe that we have a soul and a purpose. And, I also believe that it is up to each of us to decide how to live out that purpose. We have to create our lives.
The question is, if you don't know what your purpose in life is, do you want to learn?
Helen Keller
"Believe your life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact."
William James
“Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heros.”
Benjamin Disraeli
It is quite possible that I have lived my life based on these principles, without having the words for it. "So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain." What a great statement.
I've had several conversations lately about life purpose. And, quite frankly, seemingly contradictory opinions coexist easily in my head. I do believe that we are born with meaning and purpose inherent in us. And, I believe that we create our own existence.
I believe that we have a soul and a purpose. And, I also believe that it is up to each of us to decide how to live out that purpose. We have to create our lives.
The question is, if you don't know what your purpose in life is, do you want to learn?
Monday, March 10, 2008
Oprah's Big Give
So far Travis and Damaris's illusion hasn't been shown on the Oprah Show. : - ( But, still it was a load of fun to be there for the taping.
I did see myself, Travis, and my husband, Jeff, on screen druing the audience shots of the event.
(Tonight we'll have to review the DVR recording frame by frame to see if we can see our daughters. But I'll have to wait til the husband comes home to do that - I only learned how to set the DVR today!)
I did see myself, Travis, and my husband, Jeff, on screen druing the audience shots of the event.
(Tonight we'll have to review the DVR recording frame by frame to see if we can see our daughters. But I'll have to wait til the husband comes home to do that - I only learned how to set the DVR today!)
My favorite phone call last week
My client, Travis Sims, called me on Wednesday last week. He said - Dr. Leah - do you believe in the Law of Attraction? (He knew the answer, of course.)
I said - Yes.
He said - Do you remember my vision board?
I said - Yes.
He said - Do you remember who is on my vision board?
I said - Ellen?
He said - What other tv personality who believes in The Secret?
I said - Oprah?
He said - Oprah's people just called me.
Oh my gosh!!! Out of the blue, Oprah's people called Travis to see if he would be the entertainment at a taping for the Oprah Show.
There was a group in a nearby town doing a Big Give challenge. And, they wanted entertainment (he's a magician) for the big event where the family was presented with the donations.
Wow. I was blown away. Completely amazed.
So, here's what I think: Whether you're into the Law of Attraction or not, it ABSOLUTELY pays to write down your goals. The attraction based folks see this as bringing the desire to you. The task oriented folks might see it is focusing your actions.
Regardless of why or how it helps - it just does. I say all this to you as a person who has an incredibly difficult time saying what I want. Watching the miracles that occurred last week, I am pushing myself this week to want more, articulate my goals more clearly, and open my heart to possibilities more fully.
So - What do you want this week?
I said - Yes.
He said - Do you remember my vision board?
I said - Yes.
He said - Do you remember who is on my vision board?
I said - Ellen?
He said - What other tv personality who believes in The Secret?
I said - Oprah?
He said - Oprah's people just called me.
Oh my gosh!!! Out of the blue, Oprah's people called Travis to see if he would be the entertainment at a taping for the Oprah Show.
There was a group in a nearby town doing a Big Give challenge. And, they wanted entertainment (he's a magician) for the big event where the family was presented with the donations.
Wow. I was blown away. Completely amazed.
So, here's what I think: Whether you're into the Law of Attraction or not, it ABSOLUTELY pays to write down your goals. The attraction based folks see this as bringing the desire to you. The task oriented folks might see it is focusing your actions.
Regardless of why or how it helps - it just does. I say all this to you as a person who has an incredibly difficult time saying what I want. Watching the miracles that occurred last week, I am pushing myself this week to want more, articulate my goals more clearly, and open my heart to possibilities more fully.
So - What do you want this week?
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
Mr. Noobie says you may want to wait...
Are you confused about what to do about the digital tv conversion coming next year?
Check out Mr. Noobie's recent post on the topic.
Check out Mr. Noobie's recent post on the topic.
End of the Great Flu of 2008
I believe that I am at the end of Great Flu of 2008. It is quite exciting. For the first time in two weeks, I didn't have to go back to bed after running the morning carpool. (The minor miracles keep me going...) I haven't had a nap in a few days. I am sitting up and actually working. It's all good.
Here's the thing that gets to me - two and a half weeks ago, I went through a big pile of papers, cleaned the kitchen, did 10 loads of laundry, cooked 3 big meals so that we would have food for the week already prepped. And, then, I got sick. It's like you can't win for losing. I'd done all this stuff to get ahead of the game (or at least caught up), and then I was almost completely non-functional for a week. Now having all that stuff done probably made it much easier on everyone when I was sick, but it was still irritating to not be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
This weekend, we did a lot of housecleaning and laundry. We pulled out old clothes to donate. The girls had 82 shirts that were too small. Wow. I'm hoping it's easier to get clothes to fit in the drawers now! My only concern is that now I'll get sick again. (Yes, I know it is superstitious. Too bad. It's just the way it is.)
Here's the thing that gets to me - two and a half weeks ago, I went through a big pile of papers, cleaned the kitchen, did 10 loads of laundry, cooked 3 big meals so that we would have food for the week already prepped. And, then, I got sick. It's like you can't win for losing. I'd done all this stuff to get ahead of the game (or at least caught up), and then I was almost completely non-functional for a week. Now having all that stuff done probably made it much easier on everyone when I was sick, but it was still irritating to not be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
This weekend, we did a lot of housecleaning and laundry. We pulled out old clothes to donate. The girls had 82 shirts that were too small. Wow. I'm hoping it's easier to get clothes to fit in the drawers now! My only concern is that now I'll get sick again. (Yes, I know it is superstitious. Too bad. It's just the way it is.)
Sunday, March 2, 2008
More than half done
Today, I realized again that I am more than half done with the day-to-day job of parenting. Now, I realize that many of my friends are more frequent contact with their college freshman than last year when the same children were high school seniors. The new freshmen text parents on the way to class and call to report on tests. I get that parenting continues on forever. But the day-to-day realities change...
My children are 11 and 9 years old. As I looked at the 11 year old tonight, I thought again about who she is and who she will become. And, I wondered if I have done enough - enough to make sure that she has the right internal strength to grow up to be herself without being pulled off course too far.
I watch friends with high school students. And, being the kind of person I am, I have already started to interview parents I want to emulate. I want to know what it is that makes them connect with their children. I want to figure out now what it is that creates the type of parent that I want to become. Because, it seems to me that parenting adolescents is about letting go and allowing them to become who they are, so if (by necessity) I have to relinquish some pieces of control to my children - then I will cope by taking control of becoming the type of person I want and need to be to parent my children in the ways that I feel are best.
Today, I marvel at who my daughters are as individuals. My appreciation of them and their strengths leads me to this thought and hope that I have done enough - enough to support them and teach them who they are, so that they can be happy, truly, deeply happy people.
My children are 11 and 9 years old. As I looked at the 11 year old tonight, I thought again about who she is and who she will become. And, I wondered if I have done enough - enough to make sure that she has the right internal strength to grow up to be herself without being pulled off course too far.
I watch friends with high school students. And, being the kind of person I am, I have already started to interview parents I want to emulate. I want to know what it is that makes them connect with their children. I want to figure out now what it is that creates the type of parent that I want to become. Because, it seems to me that parenting adolescents is about letting go and allowing them to become who they are, so if (by necessity) I have to relinquish some pieces of control to my children - then I will cope by taking control of becoming the type of person I want and need to be to parent my children in the ways that I feel are best.
Today, I marvel at who my daughters are as individuals. My appreciation of them and their strengths leads me to this thought and hope that I have done enough - enough to support them and teach them who they are, so that they can be happy, truly, deeply happy people.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
And now for something completely different...
When last we spoke, I was reporting on Mensa's Top Ten TV shows. And, it does seem like a hard turn from Mensa's Top Ten to my next topic - The Real Housewives of Orange County.
Apparently, one cannot live solely on high brow television, because I do greatly enjoy trashy reality tv. And, honestly, I was not expecting to find anything more than a little trash and distraction during my time with the Housewives. Imagine my surprise to hear this: "Doors don't open for you when you're closed-minded." That is a really interesting thought.
"Doors don't open for you when you're closed-minded." I like it. Now, there are plenty of closed-minded people who appear to have found opportunity. But, in general, it makes a lot of sense. There are so many people pushing away opportunity and wonderful things through their closed-mindedness and lack of awareness.
Apparently, one cannot live solely on high brow television, because I do greatly enjoy trashy reality tv. And, honestly, I was not expecting to find anything more than a little trash and distraction during my time with the Housewives. Imagine my surprise to hear this: "Doors don't open for you when you're closed-minded." That is a really interesting thought.
"Doors don't open for you when you're closed-minded." I like it. Now, there are plenty of closed-minded people who appear to have found opportunity. But, in general, it makes a lot of sense. There are so many people pushing away opportunity and wonderful things through their closed-mindedness and lack of awareness.
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